break into a new path

i would call it numbness. the feeling of no feeling week after week. pain was never invited to the party and joy was  not on the list. a glimpse of happiness, sure. a hint of frustration, every so often.

i was caught in the lull of the enemy.
"hush my friend. suppress the dreams."

it was as if he made the bed and tucked me in. i was wrapped in the comfort of complacency. but the comfort is so false. the comfort isn't actually comfort at all. it is not born of the Comforter. it is a lie. false security. unreached potential. blinders on eyes created to see through the same eyes as Jesus.

how great it is to have an Overseer. a Father who is not blind. a Lord that cannot be mislead. the Creator who has power over all.

He set the alarm to wake me from the slumber. i was brought to a night of fellowship.

vulnerability through prayer to each other.
prayer over one another.
prayer for the city.
prayer for the nations.
praise after praise.
dances of power.
the process was repeated until 3am.

then confirmation through worship and preaching in the morning as church. thank You, Jesus.

the theme of the experience can be painted through the lyrics of a song.

Cannot Keep You

They tried to keep you in a tent
They could not keep you in a temple
Or any of their idols, to see and understand

We cannot keep you in a church
We cannot keep you in a Bible
Or it's just another idol to box you in

They could not keep you in their walls
We cannot keep you in ours either
For you are so much greater

Who is like the Lord
The maker of the heavens
Who dwells with the poor
He lifts them from the ashes
And He seats them among princess
Who is like the Lord

We've tried to keep you in our tents
We've tried to keep you in our temples
We've worshiped all our idols
We want all that to end

So we will find you in the streets
And we will find you in the prisons
And even in our Bibles and churches

We cannot contain, cannot contain
The glory of your name
We cannot contain, cannot contain
The glory of your name
We cannot contain, cannot contain
The glory of your name

Who is like the Lord
You took me from the ashes
And you healed me from my blindness
Who is like the Lord

"I am still confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the Lord

in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord;

be strong, and take heart

and wait for the Lord."

- Psalm 27:13,14

finding comfort by leaving it

there's a truth i know:

Jesus is more than enough

but what about when there is all the stuff that isn't enough?

when there is a wall built up of junk

a wall that hides that truth

i find myself the most satisfied in life when there is the least around me

when there are more people than things

when you want to sit in silence

listen to a song and turn it into worship

read the Word instead of turn on the tv

and the times when there are too many things to choose from?

they are empty.

d i s c o n n e c t e d

so i am most comfortable when i am not surrounded by the "comforts" of this world

because of this:

i want to live an "uncomfortable" life

be different, not to stand out

but to better strive for a pure life that indulges in Jesus

i can only pour out what i take in

right now it is not just Jesus

i get distracted and lazy

i hate it

so who wants to join me?

go find a simple place to live

get some roommate who are passionate about Jesus

be known for:

taking in the hungry

fellowship/community

joy

passion

all these conveniences we have don't make being a Christ follower convenient.

there's nothing convenient about living for Jesus

that would take out the excitement, mystery, and faith

so back off Satan and get your stupid "things" out of the way

you're just afraid of what will happen in this world if all those who follow Jesus stop buying into your lies.

_________________________________

when Christians were called such it was meant to make fun of them

they were called "little Christs"

i don't want to be a Christian simply because i go to church

i want to be called so because people identify me as someone who is like Christ

___________________________________

it's been too uncomfortable within my comfort

i want to be so comfortable in what the world would see as an uncomfortable life

leave it to gain it

leave the world to gain Jesus

simple truths i've known but just haven't seemed to come around to living consistently yet



i'm going against the grind on this one

I've had many, many thoughts about Osama bin Laden's death. So many in fact that I can't piece them together to figure out what I actually think.

Of course I am glad that Osama is no longer able to continue his life's work. Am I glad he is dead? I would have to say no. I am not glad. That would be saying that I am glad another life is separated from our Great God for eternity. And sure the vast majority of the population would say "Well he deserves to be rotting in hell." OK, but so do you and so do I. We all deserve hell, every single one of us. No one is excluded. And while I am pretty certain Osama would have been absolutely resistant to the Gospel I have to wonder if he should have had the chance.

I don't know. I still am not sure what to think. Maybe it was God's judgement. Maybe God had given Osama so long to respond to the overwhelming mercy and grace flowing from Jesus. His time was just up? I'm not going to be one of those Christians that says he got what he deserved and rejoice in his death. I can't. There is nothing about that idea that brings peace with it in my heart.

After watching several news videos and reading articles I realized how big of a moment this event is in history. While it doesn't seem to affect me directly it will be something that my kids ask me about. This is a piece of history I am living through that I won't be able to just tell about through facts. When my children want to know about it, what it was like, how am I going to respond? What will I say?

 The truth,

 well the truth is that every time I see footage of Americans celebrating I want to cry. How prideful are we? We think that nothing can touch us, no one is better than us. "If you mess with America you have it coming!" Who do we think we are? Our act of violence that is celebrated isn't the end. Hate responded to by hate can only bring more hate. It fuels the fire.

where does love fit into the picture? I'm not sure these days. the world has so far gone into the mentality that "might is right" that acts love are laughed at. the idea that we should love our neighbors, pray for our enemies, and be like Jesus in everything we do is great in theory but never taken legitimately on a worldwide scale.

maybe I'm too optimistic. Maybe I think that love can actually change this world. God is love. God is more powerful than acts of terrorism. bigger than hate. bigger than disagreements. God is more powerful that the greatest earthly power. He can melt a heart of stone. He can heal the lame. Jesus can make the blind see.

The power of salvation through Christ is powerful enough to transform the lives of those who do acts of terror, who hate those aren't like them, who try to bring others down, who love to see people suffer.

I'm not saying we bake cookies for the terrorists and leave them on the doorstep. I'm not an idiot. I'm not ignorant to their actions. But when I leave this world and I meet my maker face to face. I would rather it be due to loving someone who no one else would and being killed for it rather than asking for violence. Those in this world who we think need to be dealt with through violent measures love it. That's what they want. It doesn't have an effect on them. But what if we were different? What if they didn't know what to do because we didn't turn to their level of resolution first. What if we actually were the salt and light of this earth and they saw Jesus in us? Maybe they still kill us. Maybe they see the Holy Spirit living in us and they can't handle it so they shoot us. Isn't that a better way to go? I bet that impression would last alot longer than a bunch of gun shots and threats.


like I said. I'm not sure how I feel about it all. For some reason this has actually stirred some thought it me. mainly because I have felt more sadness and heartbreak over the state of this world. Just because the world is the way it is doesn't mean it's the way it ought to be.

Me vs. Spirit

Life is such a battle. Romans 7:21-23

 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.

"All I want to do, is give this life to You
And let Your will be done, until it's all I want to do.

How does doubt slip in, so silently?
And why does condemnation come so naturally?
Why do I still get the best of me?
Loving so little and living so selfishly?

When all I want to do, is give this life to You.
and let Your will be done until it's all I want to do.

What have I been given by Your grace?
Will I come to understand this mystery I embrace?
Make of me a new creation now,
Fill me with all you are and be all I am some how.

Cuz all I want to do is give this life to You.
And let Your will be done, until it's all I want to do.

Faith so fragile
Reaching for Your hand

All I want to do, is give this life to You.
All I want to do, is give this life to You.
All I want to do, is give this life to You,
and let your will be done, til it's all I want to do.
And let your will be done, til it's all I want to do."- All I Want to Do  by Ginny Owens

That's it, that is discipleship

From the mind of J. Herbert Kane:

"This is what our Lord had in mind when He said, 'Take my yoke upon you and learn from me.' It isn't enough to confess Christ as Savior. We must go on to acknowledge Him as our Teacher. We must attach ourselves to His person, Enroll in His school, listen to His words, walk in His way, surrender to His will.
Slowly but surely we will undergo a complete transformation of life and thought. As a result we will come to have a new center of gravity, a new system of values, a new standard of morality, a new frame of reference, a new purpose in life. We are now His disciples because we have accepted His discipline. The two words come words come from the same root. As the discipline deepens, something of His spirit rubs off on us-the spirit of humility, sincerity, service, and sacrifice. We become a carbon copy of Him. That is discipleship."

always humbled

while spending some time in the Word and reading through a devotion I stumbled across a few simple statements that hit me pretty good. of course when that happens I feel the need to share, hoping that it will help someone else as well.

"Our citizenship is in heaven."-Philippians 3:20

"The Christian life depends heavily on perspective."-Chris Tiegreen

We have to daily remind ourselves that this is not our home. This is not our "destiny."

This place does not define us. And when we can take grasp of that, truly, then we can live into the truths that set us free. Free from the need to impress others. Free from titles or status. Free from being emotional driven by the things around us. We are free to live for God with our eyes set on heaven.

Get this...here's what hit me hard.

"You can take some risks, although nothing God calls us to do is really risky by eternal definitions. You can follow Him without fear."-Chris Tiegreen

How often do we talk about taking risks and stepping out in faith although there is always fear behind it?

The true risk would be not stepping into God and His plans. It only seems like a risk to an unbelieving world. So all the better witness Jesus will get through the "risk" when He proves to be faithful!

Why would we consider it a risk when God has called us to it? He is the Creator and Sustainer of this world and us, therefor He probably knows what He is doing.

keeping up

"Jesus is intense;casual discipleship won't keep up with Him."- Chris Tiegreen



I haven't been keeping up.

Not that anyone will ever be able to compete with Jesus or be on the same level, but how incredible would it be? To live a life that is keeping up with Jesus. Where He goes you go. When He moves you get to see it. When He speaks you hear every word. When He leads you follow. When He cries with compassion you are so close that you get wet from His tears. You aren't only hearing stories of others, but you are letting God write stories through you.

Jesus is intense, so a life following Him should be nothing less.