thirsty roots

Jesus tells us that apart from Him we can do nothing. He tells us that His Father is the Gardner, He is the vine, and we are the branches. If we remain in Him we survive, we thrive, we bear fruit.

There's a saying- "I thirst for the Lord."

I never really questioned this saying much, It made sense to me. We get thirsty in our daily lives and we get a drink to quench that thirst. So using that in a spiritual sense translates well. We get thirsty spiritually and we need Jesus to quench that thirst. But I had never thought of that saying in light of Jesus' words in John 15.

He is the Vine,
     we are the branches...

Plants survive by being watered. A vine supplies the branches with water from its roots. The branches thirst for the nutrients that the vine gives them.  A branch cannot survive on its own. A branch cannot be separated from the vine and maintain life.

Neither can we survive on our own apart from Jesus. He is our supplier of life's essential nutrients. he is the living water, the well of life. We are not just craving a sip of Jesus, although a sip of Jesus provides enough life for the whole world. We are craving to be intertwined with our one source of life.

Death was simple, but getting there was an act of love

Naturally the Easter season has me thinking about Jesus: His life, death, and resurrection. I had a new thought recently. We always talk about how He died for us, His death, 'I can't believe He died for us'...but was it really a big deal that God died? Not really. He is God and He is not defeated or overcome by death. Death was not an end for Him. Dying wasn't the big deal. It had to be done, of course, to fulfill scripture, cover our Fall, and reconcile the relationship between God and man, but rising from death was a simple task for our God. 

What I see as the big deal is the fact that Jesus chose to leave His heavenly dwelling and enter the human world. He submitted to what it meant to be human and deal with temptation, anger, pain, sickness, hunger, etc. All while knowing what was ahead of Him. He didn't just die. Jesus took on humiliation through a friend's betrayal, walked in chains at the mercy of soldiers, was beaten to an unrecognizable state, nailed to a cross (the Romans truly knew how to inflict the most painful forms of torture), and then hang there till death came upon Him. 

Death was probably the easiest part. To leave all the pain, no longer face temptation, forget hunger, and every other human aspect that falls short of being God. Jesus was, is, and always will be a constant overflow of love from our heavenly Father. I am drawn back to this poem that somehow came from a pen I was holding one morning. Read it, soak it in, and thank the Lord for the perfect sacrifice of Jesus and the victory that came through His resurrection. 

In Your presence

    there is no comprehension,

                  no way to contain.

The words You spoke,

    the beating You took,

             the blood You shed.

All done by the authority

     in Your name.

You promised the temple

     to be destroyed.

       to be rebuilt in just three days.

The mocks were made

      with laughing loud.

But on the cross you revealed to the proud

      that pride comes

                  before the fall.

They thought they could defeat You

    by putting You to death

But after three days

    You breathed new life

            with just one breath.

The temple was rebuilt

      not of stone, of wood, or clay.

The temple was made new

     it was rebuilt in You.

The stone rolled back

   and from the grave You walked.

The Savior was alive!

    the man that they

                once mocked.

Before You walked this earth,

    winning was the enemy.

But through Your blood,

      the Truth and Life,

he has no victory over me.

You sent the Helper to dwell,

       dwell in my heart,

                my soul,

                      my mind.

So with all I am

      and all I have
  please let us be intertwined.

Your death and resurrection
       are not just a story
They are the proclamation  of victory!
       Victory over the devil!
       Victory over the flesh!
       Victory each and every day!

Thank You for reconciliation.
 I submit my life to be
       in constant admiration.
Though I may fail
       and I may slip
Your love will never fail
     and I will never be
           let from Your grip.

In Your presence is where
      I want to be.
Fear and trembling, joy and singing
All of this I get to share
       with You
Because I am not chained
   or held, but in You
           I have been made free.

You took my place on the cross
     so have Your way in me
On this earth let me be
    the lips that speak Your words.
In this place let every
     heart and saddened face
               be renewed in who You are
So that each new life
     may be of You
             a living memoir.

Thank You for Your grace
     and thank You for Your love.
Please be my guiding light
    when darkness closes in
So that from the hands
      of the enemy I may
            ascend like a dove
Let me be Your living testimony
    to tell of all You've done.
To share with the world
     that each and every heart
          has already been won.

The Lord is Holy,
     Pure, and Strong
And all my days I
     I will work
to make that
       my life song.
  

The beauty of engaging

So I've been reading through the old testament since the start of the year. If I were to be honest I would have to admit that with this process comes some times when I have to ask the Lord to really make it stand out. It can get dry, or so I always thought. I have never read through the entire Bible from cover to cover and I decided to do so this year. You hear the jokes about how dry the sections are with all the commandments and sacrifice rituals. But for me it has only made me appreciate Jesus more. God and man were in perfect relationship. The fall brought sin. Separation entered the relationship. No longer could man freely interact or come before the Lord. Sacrifice after sacrifice, attempt after attempt to re-engage. What if that were the case today? You sinned, well go get a goat, or bird, and some grain. Repeat daily because we all fall into sin everyday. Praise Jesus Christ that we do not have to! We don't have to go to one certain place or have a priest step in on our behalf. Jesus was our sacrifice once and for all. Through a beautiful display of selflessness stepping in and taking the best the world could throw at Him, Jesus made an eternal way for us to come before the Father. Take a few minutes today to really soak that in and appreciate our savior. We take Him for granted too often. And the fact that we can engage with the Lord at any time, in any place, and in any situation... Let your heart fall to its knees and be humbled in His beauty. The way I see it, He took our place on the cross so we ought to take His place here. "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship." -Romans 12:1

salty conversation

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, 

seasoned with salt,

so that you may know how to answer everyone."

-Colossians 4:6

everytime I read through this verse I am intrigued by the idea of seasoning my conversation with salt. what exactly does that mean? while I have always been intrigued I never really looked into it. I simply read over it and gave it importance in my mind, but i didn't know why. well as I read through the letter of Colossians today I gave more effort to the whole process. I pulled one of my New Testament Survey books off my shelf to see what was said about the letter. there were several things I learned and some old things were just buried deeper into my mind. and of course, the last thing that is said about this letter has to do with 4:6. the author wrote, "since salt retards corruption, speech 'seasoned with salt' probably means speech that is not corrupt or obscene." (Robert H. Gundry) 

salt is always associated with food. 

salt brings flavor.

salt turns the ordinary into the sensational.

Christ  calls us to be salt to this world. well, not ourselves exactly, but to use ourselves to be a medium which He uses to season the ordinary things of the world with the salt of His truth, beauty, and grace. with our mouths we have the opportunity to speak what is not ordinary. we can bring flavor to the conversation. 

through our speech the lost may taste and see that the Lord is good. when we hear something that is corruption of His truth we can throw some salt on it and preserve His goodness throughout the earth.

pride&humility:ordinary friendship

pride: 

a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

humility: 

 modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc.

while these two characteristics may seem to be opposite i am convinced that they are better friends than we would like to admit, well at least in the christian circle. 

we say that those who are proud know not how to be humble and those who live in humility are practically allergic to pride. and because of this very reason the enemy loves to bring a friendship about between the two. 

i believe that when the Lord is constantly acknowledged and submitted to in one's life then true humility will arise in a beautiful way. when the Lord is absent, not acknowledged, or not even known at all pride makes sense. when you aren't living for Christ it makes sense that you should be living for self. but what about when Christ is known and the Lord is acknowledged, but not every day? 

the friendship between pride and humility begins to develop. 

the knowledge of Christ will keep us from being full of pride because we know better, yet because we are not acknowledging Him every day we will do things that aren't glorifying to the Lord. when that happens our pride steps in tells us to keep putting on a good face. 

our pride brings us to a place of false humility. 

we want to be humble. 

we want to be selfless.

we want to glorify the Lord.

but we have things that we are ashamed of. 

things we want to keep hush-hush.

things that might make others look at us differently.

we have weakness that we don't want to admit.

but if we were truly humble wouldn't we step into a place of vulnerability?

admit our faults, reveal our weakness.

you would think. 

however, i think i have been living in a place of prideful humility. 

my pride has built me up in my own mind to think that i have some sort of reputation. 

that others see me as someone who has it together. 

how prideful? 

i mean yes, i do desire to be someone that could be looked up to by younger Christians, but that should not take the place of being a truly honest, vulnerable, humble Christ follower who can admit faults, mistakes, and self pleasing acts. 

so as much as it truly truly brings me to nerves thinking about sharing i feel as though i must. 

i am human. i struggle. i am not perfect. yet Christ loves me with all the mistakes and scars that i bear.

seeing as how He is my only true judge,

the One i will take things up with in the end,

the only opinion that is worth living for,

i should be able to allow others to see me the same way that He does. 

while i know this is impossible because He sees what even i can not see of myself, i shall attempt to open the door to my humanness.

maybe it will inspire others to step out as well. 

i don't know, but i do know that i don't want to be fake. 

here is a little list of things that i know about me that many don't.

a list of things that i know others deal with, but that my pride has tried to convince me that i am alone in...

-on a daily basis i live into laziness. i am a creature of habit and my habit for 14 years of life was not to step into the presence of God through His Word, prayer, and worship. i struggle with fighting the laziness in order to step into spiritual disciplines.

-something that is not spoken of by girls in general is the topic of lust. before i came to know Christ i allowed myself to be in situations that weren't healthy. i had my average teenage relationships which led to the idea of sex. while i never went to that extreme my mind was open to the idea in a real way. if i don't avoid suggestive things within my day i have to give over to the Lord lustful thoughts.

-self-doubt is something i live into on a pretty regular basis. while the majority of my days are filled with ease and a strong personality that may give off confidence i easily find myself comparing to others and making a list of ways that i fall short. 

i'm sure that this is not a complete list of all my faults and shortcomings, but they are some of the major things i deal with. 

i'm not sure why i shared these things or if anyone will even read this, but there it is. 

whether you see me different in a good or bad way it doesn't matter. 

the ashley carter you know comes along with these things.

i am learning that in order for me to fight the battle of allowing pride and humility to become friends i need to acknowledge these things so i know what to fight. this is part of that. by exposing it i cannot let them live in the darkness that is provided by the shadow of pride. 

Lord, thank You for drowning me in grave and love. I know that I was not, am not, nor ever will I be worthy of the sacrifice that covers me, but You still covered me and called me Your child. I am sorry that I live for myself sometimes. I am sorry that I use gifts and talents You have given me for me and not You. I am sorry that I allow myself to live into lies. I want to give these things to You and ask for Your power and truth to triumph over the death that these things bring. You made a way for me to live life to the full and I intend on taking You up on that deal. Thank You for exposing me for the person I am. I should have no response but humility when I stand in acknowledgement of who You are and who I am not. Please take my life and have Your way. I want to taste and see Your goodness. You are worthy of more than I can give.   I don't want to waste my life living for something so insignificant as myself. I want to know You and make You known, but I can't do it without Your mercy and grace. Thank You for always being there for me even when I speak empty promises. You are Lord and You are worthy of all glory, honor, and praise. 

Amen

truth: God is good

at this moment in my life i don't feel as though i know too much. 

-i don't know where i am going next.

-i don't know what to do with all this new free time i have.

-i don't know what full time job i want to pursue.

-i don't know what each day will have in store. 

the list continues and it seems as though there will always and forever be an on going list of "i don't knows"

but there is another list. there is a list that i like to title "God is good." what's on the list? exactly that. an on going list where each line reads,

-God is good

-God is good

-God is good

-when i can't see the path in front of me, God is good

-when i feel as though i am an arrow with no direction to point, God is good

-when confusion tries to take over, God is good

-when i don't give God my best, God is good

God is good. it may be an overused phrase, it may be something that is said without thinking, it may be a statement that some choose not to believe, it may be a weekly church saying

but it is not false because our God is not false. He is ever living, breathing, moving, loving, and working for the good of those who love Him. so at the end of the day i get to proclaim the God is good. whether it be for the reason of overflowing joy, encouragement at the end of a hard day, sharing the good news of who God is to a searching soul.....at the beginning of the day, throughout each moment, and at the end of each day God is good. 

Brokenness Aside

the last season of 2011 was one of brokenness for me. 

not the brokenness you may be thinking. the brokenness i am speaking of is that of living into the broken state of humanity. no matter how many scriptures i have read, how many prayers i pleaded, all the conversations about God's goodness and holiness, community worship, participating in ministry...at the end of the day i am human and i have a disease called brokenness. i was, i am, and i will always be in a broken relationship with my Creator God and Father. 

this disease seems to come in waves. days with no affects, so it seems. living in joy. telling stories of God's mercy. worshiping with an open heart. proclaiming the power of the Savior. speaking truth. living in love. and there are days where the brokenness seems to be the only option. waking to start the day, yet not intentionally speaking with Christ once throughout it. acting selfishly. doing things that Jesus would be ashamed of. not carrying His name with care, but instead dragging it through the dirt of life behind you. feeling hate towards yourself. 

but this disease will not defeat me. it can be beaten. of course, there will always be effects of it. there will be good days and bad days. there will be moments of pure brokenness. 

i recently purchased a new album put together by a group called All Sons & Daughters. the title song is Brokenness Aside. it has been speaking to me. through the entire album i have been encouraged, raw, and renewed. please take the time to listen to this song. soak it in. receive it and accept it. 

if you have the time or desire please continue to listen to this song Your Glory from the same album. i was proclaiming the goodness and power of God's glory versus living into the brokenness. it is truth. it is a prayer. it is beautiful.