Here's to new

As many of you know, this past fall season I went through a 15 week program at H.E.A.R.T. Institute in Florida. I lived in a community of cabins, shared kitchen, gardening together, attempting to raise animals, and all things community. Our focus was on training for a missional life geared towards developing countries.

I would try and tell you how incredible it all was, but it is so hard to describe an experience like such. I found myself saying over and over again that living in such close, intentional. Christ centered community is like constantly looking into an honest mirror. You learn about yourself in every possible way. What are your strengths along with what you stink at. What encouragement you have to offer along with the ugly you bring to the group with your attitude. How great it can be to live with the same group of people all the time along with the struggles of sharing your space and time with them. Pieces get put together and the puzzle starts to make a picture. Who am I, truly?

With all of this there is most definitely pain, tension, and hardship. And it makes you wonder if it is worth it. Of course it is. When I lived on my own and I split ways with all my close friends I wasn't challenged to be refined. I didn't have to change my attitude or my habits if I didn't want to. They didn't directly affect those around me in a consistent way. Yet, when the people you work with are the same people you share meals with, go to class with, hang out with, pray with, etc you and everything that comes with you affects them. So it is absolutely is worth it. The Lord gets to throw me in the fire and burn away all the ugly that doesn't glorify Him. It is a painfully beautiful process that brings about another piece of Heaven being displayed on earth.

I left H.E.A.R.T. in the middle of December to return to my home and family. Without any certainty of what my next step in life would be I settled into my sister's guesthouse and resumed my duties of being a sister, daughter, aunt, and friend. I ended up only being home for 3 weeks. In those three weeks I was able to see my nephew's birth and kiss his precious head, I shared many laughs with my nieces, enjoyed meals with friends, and got plenty of rest. Where did I go when I left?

Back to H.E.A.R.T.!!!

Currently I am a floating intern and I am bunking up in what we like to call the "Tin Can" with 3 other girls and waiting for another to arrive. The Lord has blessed me with the opportunity to return to a place where He started something huge in my life that involved alot of pain, tension, struggle, and plenty of emotions. I am excited for this season of life where I am certain that the Lord is going to challenge me in healthy ways, reveal to me what needs to be transformed by Him in my life, and be enriched by the community around me.

Oh what a prayer

John Piper wrote a prayer that gave me great encouragement and brought me to a place of awesome humility. I would like to share it knowing it will do something for you because it glorifies The Lord 

"Yes, Lord, we do take heart 

from Your New Covenant promises.

They are the sweetest ones of all.

And from this side of the cross we see 

That they are all blood bought and secure.

Thank You, Father, for sending Jesus Christ

To be for us, by His blood, the yes and AMEN 

To all Your promises. He is now the great ground

Of our hope and joy. Don't let us despair

In the battle of this brief life.

In Jesus' name,

Amen." 

-John Piper "Life as a Vapor" 

Where did the time go...

I feel as though it was just yesterday that I started my 1,200 mile journey to the HEART Institute. Yet, today marks that there are only 3 weeks until I start my journey back home. What do I share? What do I say? How can I put into words the moments of laughter, vulnerability, challenge, new experiences, pain, sweat, conversations, friendships....

At the start of the year I didn't even know that HEART existed. It wasn't on my map or in my head. But somehow I think it was in my heart. It was planted in a corner that I hadn't yet journeyed to. And finding that place within myself has opened up who I am in great ways. I have learned things about myself that I don't like. The more and more I find myself submerged in community I find more and more things about myself that are not healthy, productive, or furthering the Body of Christ. And I love it. Why?

Say you have a bookshelf. After years of filling this bookshelf you go through it and discover books that are childish, foolish, and not worth reading, in fact if you read it over again it may take you back rather than pushing you as a human being. So you clean out your shelves. You make room. You take a step back and realize that you have more room than ever to add insightful, life-giving, challenging books. Well that is how my life has been. While there may be pain, embarrassment, or possible shame it is absolutely worth it.

Community is a mirror. It reveals the beauty and the hideous secrets, bad attitudes, wrong motives, and all those areas you thought you were living into the fruits of the Spirit until they are challenged daily....

We as a community have canoed down a river and camped, traveled to Honduras, participated in Urban ministry, and lead a chapel service together. But these tasks and adventures did not come for free. We each learned things about ourselves that were ugly. Oh, but when surrendered the ugliness makes room for beauty. Our brokenness together brings a better picture of the whole.

I am thankful for these past months. I can't figure out how to share it all. My changes and transformations are not fully evident to me because they are my new normal in my new place. When I come home and am challenged to be as I used to be, then I will know the impact. But for now you need to know that I dread the day I leave. I love my home, but my home is becoming less and less a place I seem to be drawn to. I don't know where the Lord is or will take me. But I know that He is good and the life He leads me in will be full of adventures, deep breaths, laughter, tears, friendships, truth, joy, and more things than I can imagine.

Commune-ity

I have completed phase 1 of my training here at HEART.

I have met and now know 8 other incredible students along with the staff and volunteers.
The beginning was full of laughter as we got a feel for one another. Surface level questions of where we live, how many siblings we have, what year in school, what we like to do for fun, etc.

First impressions are priceless. How often we are wrong, not because others put off a different imagethan who they really are, but instead because we carry too many assumptions based on our life and project them.

The surface was broken quickly though. After the first night followed a full day of sharing testimonies and prayer. We laughed and we cried. Knowing that we would be living together, working together, going to class together, and spending free time together we felt no need to felt the initiation of vulnerability. The way I see it: if I expect others to be vulnerable and desire for the to be then I myself must be just as if not more willing to do so. And rather than building a relationship on surface level laughter only to create awkwardness when you try to open up and be serious, why not start with vulnerability to create that atmosphere and attitude?

I have laughed with my lab group when the animals doing ridiculous things and I have shared some of my deepest insecurities with the very same people. It is so beautiful. I am learning, being challenged, and hopefully even teaching some. Last weekend we went on a two day canoe/wilderness trip. During this time I was able to be overwhelmed and calmed by God's wonderful creation all around me. I am speaking of the nature and people. There was life-giving conversation in the midst of so much life around me.

A few things I've come to conclude this far in my life:

-everyone has something to teach. Always. This teaching happens in two ways. 1. The Lord does something in your life, teaches, speaks, transforms, and the result of that is shared with others. You either teach the lesson, speak the words, or interact and live in a new way because of the transformation 2. You deny the Lord's doing and push your own way thus resulting in teaching others what it looks like to not live into God's desires for your life.

-vulnerability is crucial so we must be willing to share, but vulnerability without ears to listen is selfish and unproductive. Growing in community occurs when you are open and you allow others to be.

A reflection from my journal about living for others:

You created
By Your breath I was made
Out of nothingness You made life
Life that is not just for life
Life that was meant for lives
To reach, connect, expose
Your life, Your truth, Your way
To be one with You
Yet, You in others is what I am to pursue

Our destiny is in...

"Our destiny is in a relationship to a person, not in a pilgrimage to a place.

Our purpose is in communion with the living God,

not in union with an impersonal idea or nameless Higher Power: Such categorization

is intellectual cowardice. Access to an abstract power gives

you no one to be grateful to in times of blessing and no one

to question and receive comfort from in times of sorrow.

The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul.

And the soul was made for God. Not everything is actually as it is marketed to be, 

good or bad."

-Ravi Zacharias 

Why Jesus?

Heart to h.e.a.r.t.

The Lord I serve is so incredible.

 He extended His mercy because of His unfailing, unwavering, all-sufficient love for me as His child. 

This Mercy brought my salvation and eternal justification with Him. 

 His Holy Spirit was given to me for teaching, molding, stretching, bringing about His fruits, guidance, etc. And all this while I am a sinner,

 yet He loves me. 

 not only did He save me, give me hope, change my heart, pick me and wash me pure, He said He wants to use me. 

What?

 Throughout the years He has taken me to several ministries at home and around the world. He opened my eyes to see more and more of His Kingdom. All different people with different passions, desires, burdens, needs, expressions of love, struggles, joyful hearts, and cultures.

 But my God is not different. He is The God of the earth and He loves every child of His.

 black, 

white, 

yellow, 

green, 

dark, 

light, 

handicapped, 

wealthy, 

poor, 

hungry, 

full, 

homeless,

 business owner,

 prisoner, 

fugitive, 

drug addict, 

mocker, 

prostitute,

 mother,

 child, 

abuser,

 rapist,

 president, 

gang member

lame

doctor

drunk

blind

soldier

hippie

runaway

actor

fill in the blank... 

We see the differences while He sees those He loves and wants to bring goodness to.

This truth has been instilled deeper and deeper in my heart over the years of following Christ.

And learning this is in different ways, different places, and through different people

has opened me up to the world. 

Christ died for all people. and people live in all the places of this world. 

Learning about the things that dwell in Christ's heart has transformed  my heart. 

before i was 100% selfish and cared only about me. 

'how do i make people like me?'

'what's best for me?'

'why would i do something that doesn't benefit me?'

those filled my head.

while i am not perfect or even close to it now, i am different. 

the difference did not come through good hope,

wishful thinking, lots of practice, or other habitual changes.

The Lord transformed me. He opened my eyes to what goodness truly is in this life here.

i want others to know this. for some reason the Lord has given me a heart for other nations

sharing this good news of who Jesus is and the love He reflects from the Father. 

To those of you who have only known me in the recent years you know this. 

you know i travel often and love to do so.

but what you don't know is that i used to be the girl who got picked up early from sleepovers

or spent the whole night being homesick. even when i was with my best friends only down the street.

i heard of people who would study abroad and travel the world. 

i thought it was incredibly cool, but never thought it was for me. 

so the fact that i have been on several international trips, some for months at a time with either a team of people i knew for a few months prior or a few other people, is incredible.

like i said before i can only say it is of the Lord's doing. 

for my traditional college years i attended a small Bible school where i received training, teaching, hands on practice, and encouragement in the Word. 

my education has benefited me in so many ways i cannot begin to count. 

now that i am done with i have an incredible opportunity to do a 3 month training program at the

H.E.A.R.T. Missionary Training Institute 

Hunger Education And Resource Training

from the September 4th to December 15th I will be living at the H.E.A.R.T. village in Lake Wales, Florida

taking classes, living in community, learning how to adapt in different cultures, being stretched in new ways, 

having a blast, sweating, working in gardens and with animals, etc

this will include three phases: (read below or watch the intro video)

*Phase I, the first four weeks, emphasizes a simple lifestyle of labor-intensive activities. 

Students’ hand-pump water for animal and human consumption, wash their laundry by hand, 

and cook all meals outdoors using a variety of methods. All activities, including worship, Bible, 

and community life are conducted within the village.

 *During Phase II, six weeks in length, classroom/lab work is incorporated into the daily 

routine with about half of the day spent in theoretical teaching and the other half spent in 

hands-on application. Running water and electricity are restored to the kitchen and classroom, 

and students are free to travel out of the village to make phone calls, etc. Phase II also includes 

frequent church visitations to observe and participate in a variety of ethnic worship services. In 

addition, students develop a proposal for a semester project in an area of interest in one of the 

seven instructional areas.

 *In Phase III, the final four weeks, students complete their semester projects as well as 

assume primary leadership roles in the village. As a non-traditional college training program, 

the time commitment is intense. Efficient time management is essential to accomplish learning, 

classroom activities and personal needs.

(information from heart-institute.org)

my classes will include:

appropriate technologies

animal husbandry

sustainable agriculture

primary health

nutrition/food technologies

cross-cultural communication

spiritual development of missionaries

and we will also be taking a short term trip to Honduras to work along side a school. 

the reason i have pursued this training:

i don't want to be an American christian girl who went to Bible college that 

can't work along side the natives i want to create trust with

in order to share the gospel if Jesus.

when we suggest to them things in the areas of agriculture,animals,

nutrition, health care, etc

i want to offer something in practice not just theory.

there is so much more to be said about everything, but these are the basic details. 

i am excited, curious, intrigued, ready, pumped, a little nervous, and joyful about the opportunity. 

and i want everyone to be a part with me! 

i need people to be praying:

that my heart would continue to be open in order to be shaped into the heart of the Father

for communication with those i will be living in community with

for the people of Honduras that we will be working with

for the instructors and fellow students

i would also love for you to be a part of my Honduras trip financially. 

i hate asking for money, but the reality is i need it. 

the trip will cost around $1,000 on top of the cost of going through training.

i know there are people who can't go but love to give so i love 

being able to be an avenue to give to. 

however, you are not just giving to me, you are giving to the Kingdom that God is building on earth

and to His story, not mine. 

to give you can either mail a check to the institute or give online through paypal

(make a note that it is for Ashley Carter and the Honduras trip)

 simply click here to give online and to check out everything about H.E.A.R.T.

please pray and consider supporting me in any way

pray

financial

encouragement

letters while I am there

helping with tuition 

anything

Who can dwell in Your tent?

Psalm 15 is not good. It is not a nice, sweet song of praise. It is not comforting. Psalm 15 asks an honest question, gives an honest answer. Honestly, we cannot do what the answer requires. "Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain? The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart; whose tongue utters no slander, who does no wrong to a neighbor, and casts no slur on others; who despises a vile person but honors those who fear the Lord; who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind; who lends money to the poor without interest; who does not accept a bribe against the innocent. Whoever does these things will never be shaken." (Psalm 15:1-5 NIV) Honestly, after reading this I was left with the initial thought "I can't" Immediately after that thought the Holy Spirit stepped in, "Good. You see, if you could do it on your own you would never know Jesus. Me and you would never meet. You can't dwell in the tent of the Lord, oh, but He can dwell in you!" This psalm points out our insufficiency and highlights His all-sufficient power. So instead of reading Psalm 15 and being discouraged I can read it and be joyful, thankful, confident. Even if for one day I could live up to those standards, just one day, I would be living under the Law. My relationship, standing, and justification with the Lord would be based upon my deeds. It would be dependent on me. How far off is that? How could I for one second believe that I could handle that? The creation determines how the creator sees, interacts, and values it? Not in this world. While the requirements in Psalm 15 will never be fully achieved by me I can still hold them as standards to reach for. But in my reaching I can rest easy in the results. When, not if, I fail I do not lose the dwelling of my Lord. Praise be to Him forever on high, even when my lips forget to bring it.