i'm going against the grind on this one

I've had many, many thoughts about Osama bin Laden's death. So many in fact that I can't piece them together to figure out what I actually think.

Of course I am glad that Osama is no longer able to continue his life's work. Am I glad he is dead? I would have to say no. I am not glad. That would be saying that I am glad another life is separated from our Great God for eternity. And sure the vast majority of the population would say "Well he deserves to be rotting in hell." OK, but so do you and so do I. We all deserve hell, every single one of us. No one is excluded. And while I am pretty certain Osama would have been absolutely resistant to the Gospel I have to wonder if he should have had the chance.

I don't know. I still am not sure what to think. Maybe it was God's judgement. Maybe God had given Osama so long to respond to the overwhelming mercy and grace flowing from Jesus. His time was just up? I'm not going to be one of those Christians that says he got what he deserved and rejoice in his death. I can't. There is nothing about that idea that brings peace with it in my heart.

After watching several news videos and reading articles I realized how big of a moment this event is in history. While it doesn't seem to affect me directly it will be something that my kids ask me about. This is a piece of history I am living through that I won't be able to just tell about through facts. When my children want to know about it, what it was like, how am I going to respond? What will I say?

 The truth,

 well the truth is that every time I see footage of Americans celebrating I want to cry. How prideful are we? We think that nothing can touch us, no one is better than us. "If you mess with America you have it coming!" Who do we think we are? Our act of violence that is celebrated isn't the end. Hate responded to by hate can only bring more hate. It fuels the fire.

where does love fit into the picture? I'm not sure these days. the world has so far gone into the mentality that "might is right" that acts love are laughed at. the idea that we should love our neighbors, pray for our enemies, and be like Jesus in everything we do is great in theory but never taken legitimately on a worldwide scale.

maybe I'm too optimistic. Maybe I think that love can actually change this world. God is love. God is more powerful than acts of terrorism. bigger than hate. bigger than disagreements. God is more powerful that the greatest earthly power. He can melt a heart of stone. He can heal the lame. Jesus can make the blind see.

The power of salvation through Christ is powerful enough to transform the lives of those who do acts of terror, who hate those aren't like them, who try to bring others down, who love to see people suffer.

I'm not saying we bake cookies for the terrorists and leave them on the doorstep. I'm not an idiot. I'm not ignorant to their actions. But when I leave this world and I meet my maker face to face. I would rather it be due to loving someone who no one else would and being killed for it rather than asking for violence. Those in this world who we think need to be dealt with through violent measures love it. That's what they want. It doesn't have an effect on them. But what if we were different? What if they didn't know what to do because we didn't turn to their level of resolution first. What if we actually were the salt and light of this earth and they saw Jesus in us? Maybe they still kill us. Maybe they see the Holy Spirit living in us and they can't handle it so they shoot us. Isn't that a better way to go? I bet that impression would last alot longer than a bunch of gun shots and threats.


like I said. I'm not sure how I feel about it all. For some reason this has actually stirred some thought it me. mainly because I have felt more sadness and heartbreak over the state of this world. Just because the world is the way it is doesn't mean it's the way it ought to be.

Me vs. Spirit

Life is such a battle. Romans 7:21-23

 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.

"All I want to do, is give this life to You
And let Your will be done, until it's all I want to do.

How does doubt slip in, so silently?
And why does condemnation come so naturally?
Why do I still get the best of me?
Loving so little and living so selfishly?

When all I want to do, is give this life to You.
and let Your will be done until it's all I want to do.

What have I been given by Your grace?
Will I come to understand this mystery I embrace?
Make of me a new creation now,
Fill me with all you are and be all I am some how.

Cuz all I want to do is give this life to You.
And let Your will be done, until it's all I want to do.

Faith so fragile
Reaching for Your hand

All I want to do, is give this life to You.
All I want to do, is give this life to You.
All I want to do, is give this life to You,
and let your will be done, til it's all I want to do.
And let your will be done, til it's all I want to do."- All I Want to Do  by Ginny Owens