Tuesday, December 20, 2011

it's unbelievably beautiful

if you know me well then you know that i don't exactly come from a Christian family. this was something that presented as a challenge to my faith in the beginning. i was discouraged. i used to separate my faith from my family and avoid the topic with them. i didn't like them making fun of me. i didn't like defending my faith because i didn't know how to then. 

alot has changed since then. 

two of my older sisters and mother regularly go to church. through the Spirit's prompting we started meeting as a small group. this has helped strengthen our relationships as a family of believers not just blood. we dig into God's love. we take in His grace. we share and we pray. oh how the Lord has bee moving! 

when i started going to church i had to sit with my friend's family and other kids from youth. i now get to sit with my family. i get to worship next to my mother and sisters. i get to hear them praise Jesus. that was a vision that was far from my imagination in the beginning. it is reality now. somehow, someway the Lord has made sure to shine through my life so that my family does not see my actions without seeing Him. that is beautiful. i used to be intimidated because i was younger than them. now the Lord teaches me in order to share the knowledge with them. 

i have two little sisters as well. i honestly didn't know how to be a big sister that influenced them for Jesus. but the Lord works in our weakness, that's for sure. one sister went to summer camp this year and has started going to youth. she is shy and we haven't had deep conversations about Jesus, but the door has been opened. 

my youngest sister. well i have never really had much of an opportunity to share with her about Jesus. see, she is 7. the gap means that we haven't lived in the same house together much. she has been so young and not thinking about anything dealing with God. oh but on saturday things were different. Caroline wanted me to take her and her friend to see the Christmas lights at the Down's house. i was a little reluctant, but decided to be a cool big sister and take them. 

we parked and watched the lights. at one point there was a picture of the cross in lights. i asked them if they knew what it meant (Caroline's friend goes to church so i figured i'd get an answer) and they answered "Jesus." that question, the one that i didn't know was coming out of my mouth when it did turned into the gospel. in a grass field parked in my dad's truck i shared the gospel with my sister. we talked about everything and continued to do so as we drove home. when we got home i explained why we celebrated Christmas. we went into the house, i grabbed my Bible, we sat together on the couch, and i read her the story of Jesus' birth. the next morning as i walked out of my room i found her reading the Bible i left out. she picked up where we left off. she then joined me for church as we celebrated with our Christmas spectacular. at the end of the service Caroline raised her hand representing that she wanted to submit to Christ. she repeated the prayer the pastor lead everyone in. you see the night before i had told her that you had to make the choice and pray to Jesus. she told me that she couldn't remember everything you needed to say so i told her i could lead her through it if she wanted. well at church when she raised her hand, i looked at her and said that the pastor was going to lead her in prayer just like i said i could do . she said ok and proceeded to pray. 

i can't say that caroline understands it all. i can't say what really happened in her heart or what is going on now. but i can say that the glory goes to God. He is moving in my family. these beautiful moments are not your average moments. they have eternal fruit. and boy are they beautiful. i am blown away by the fact that the Lord chose me. He chose me to follow Him in a family that was not. and through His power, truth, grace, mercy, and love He is making Himself known among their hearts. He is strengthening me everyday. why He chooses to use me i will never figure out or understand. but i am so glad that i get to be a part of it.