Monday, August 15, 2011

You walk with me?

i've said my goodbyes to friends and i may seem heartless because i didn't shed a tear.
yes, i will miss my friends more than i can comprehend right now.
but i'm just not that kind of person.
i take time.
time for things to sink in a little.
the plane rides may consist of tears, the future is uncertain.

in church i found myself with tears streaming down my face during worship.
i didn't understand it at first.
fear? i don't think so.
rather i had this overwhelming sense of who God was.
and this realization brought about so much joy.
my God, the Lord of all lords, King of all kings, Captain of all captains.
Mighty Warrior, Creator of all, Sustainer, Savior to all the earth.
this God.
my Father and Refuge.
He has allowed me to be used for His glory.

so i couldn't help but cry.
an overwhelming experience of joy and unbelief all at the same time.

now the enemy tried to have me think it over after church.
was i afraid?
was i worried?
were those actually tears of joy?

so i thought.
am i walking i fear or faith?

if i were walking in fear:
the fact that there is more unknown than known about the trip would scare me
no visas? no way!
language barrier? make it a wall and stop me in front of it!
undetermined amount of time? undetermined mindset.

if i were walking in faith:
the less details i know the more room God has to show off.
language difficulties equals seeing God's creativity.
rather than seeing the negative i see the Lord and His nature.
i don't doubt myself because i can't do it anyway, so instead i ask the Lord to be Him through me.

i choose to walk by faith.
it is all for His glory so i shouldn't be trying to do it.
there is nothing in this world that the Lord can't handle.
plus the way i see it:
if we never step out of our comfort zone, if we never try something new, if we never step into the unknown, then we leave no room for God to be seen.
God doesn't work through our agenda, only His timing.

step out to step in.
 out of ourselves and into what He's doing.


we are about to start our journey.
please join our team by prayer.
thank you to all my incredible friends and family who have encouraged and supported this opportunity.

love to you,
now lavish it on someone.