Sunday, July 10, 2011

open to darkness

as i sat down with thoughts in my head and hands ready to type the Lord gave me new thoughts. as many of you know i am an analogy person. i love them. i love using them. i love how God teaches me about His vast beauty through simple illustrations. i mean it makes sense. God must humble His greatness in a way that our human minds can try to grasp it all. simple humans need simple analogies. thank the Lord that He is incredible.

i am a night person. sure i wake up in the mornings, but the times that i always find myself in deep thought or writing in my journal or writing on this thing as if people read it, it is 95% of the time night. as i sat down tonight a new way was given to me to think about it all. bare with me and see if you can follow my thoughts...

night brings about a peaceful time for me.
it is simple.
the night sky takes away all the distractions.
i am able to focus much better.

now this crazy thought came about for me that goes along so well with what the Lord has been teaching me and pushing me into.

for me, in this American, comfortable, lazy life i so easily can and will do anything but what is productive for the Lord. in the daytime i am aware of all that is around me. i see the silly distractions of the t.v., pool, computer, bed, etc. sure it's still there at night, in the darkness, but for some reason it isn't as appealing.

i want my life to be like this. but instead of the darkness being something that brings comfort the way the night sky does what if it were the opposite? what if i were aware of the darkness of the Enemy around me as i am the night sky? what if that brought me comfort. crazy? not when you think of it this way. because i am surrounded by darkness i am forced into the arms of the Father, ever living in my Refuge and Solid Rock. so through the darkness i am brought comfort because rather than letting the worldly distractions hide the actual darkness and allow me to be leisurely walking through life with a "christian" stamp on my forehead, i run to the Jesus and allow Him to mark my next step, every step of the way.

how can i be used as light to the world if i am not walking through the darkness? turn on a flashlight during the middle of the day in a bright room and how much difference does it make? none.

give a christian a comfortable home, no accountability, gadgets galore, a bubble of christian friends, etc. and what difference does it make in the world? i can't say none because God's presence is in them which brings more of Him to earth, but He isn't being shared. so the difference isn't much. it's almost like turning on your flashlight in the middle of the day in a bright room.

so do i dare pray for darkness? i'm not sure about that. but pray for the blinders to be lifted from my eyes? yes, Lord bring the awareness. pray that the Lord take away these "comforts?" yes, Lord take them.

i found myself earlier in my car crying out to the Lord that He would sweep me off the feet i have placed myself upon. i have been living life as if i know what tomorrow may bring. as if i know what's best for me. as if i was my own creator. so, Lord, knock me down, sweep me up, and rebuild me with eyes anew, Spirit refreshed, actions transformed. push me into the darkness so that You may be the Light for the lost. show me how to constantly be in love with you, passionately.

i want my focus on You to be a constant.